BREAKING: GameStop Adds Titcoin to Treasury

By Stonky McTonkface | April 19, 2025

In a stunning late-night filing leaked on X by someone named “$TIT_SUPREMACY69,” GameStop confirmed it has officially added Titcoin to its corporate treasury.

The retail stock cult icon has now embraced the decentralized meme cult coin, citing “community alignment, chest-forward liquidity, and post-meme resilience.”

“We like the fundamentals,” said one unnamed board member. “And by fundamentals, we mean memes, volume, and cleavage.”

Reddit erupted. Roaring Kitty tweeted two melons and a rocket emoji. $TITCOIN surged 426% before retracing a bit when someone realized the filing was signed in Comic Sans.

Meanwhile, CNBC’s Jim Cramer screamed “THIS IS A PRANK!” live on air while holding a tit-shaped stress ball. The segment has since been tokenized.

Citadel allegedly tried to short Titcoin in response, but their transaction failed due to “Boobchain Rejection Protocols.” BlackRock, not wanting to be left behind, announced it was “re-evaluating its exposure to soft assets.”

GameStop’s newly formed Titcoin division will be led by a team of former Shiba Inu developers and one guy named Gary who “gets memes.”

Their roadmap includes:

• Opening a liquidity pool called “HODL My Tits”
• Accepting Titcoin for used Xbox controllers and hentai figurines
• Launching a Layer 2 scaling solution called “GameChad”

As of press time, GameStop’s website has crashed, and the Titcoin community is preparing to tattoo “GGG” — GigaGameGamers — in unison next weekend.