SEC Won’t Let It Go: Oregon’s Weirdest Throwback Case Yet

By Bureaucrat BeGone | April 2025

In a move no one asked for, the Oregon Attorney General has revived the SEC’s crusty enforcement action against Coinbase — because apparently there wasn’t enough going on in the world of crypto litigation already.

Old Case, New Drama

The SEC first got rejected faster than a titcoin tattoo at a Goldman Sachs retreat. But now Oregon’s AG wants to reheat this expired enforcement burrito and serve it up again. We call this a **legal leftovers moment.**

“Digital Assets Are Securities” — The Eternal Copium

The SEC still insists that all crypto is a security — except, of course, for SEC Chair Gary Gensler’s private stash of Ethereum and possibly a few memecoins he rage-bought during lockdown.

Meanwhile, Titcoin holders are wondering if having areolas on-chain counts as “community-governed expression” or “regulated breast-sets.”

What’s Oregon Got To Do With It?

Apparently, Oregon is now the federal government’s hype man. Their AG decided to join the SEC’s broken kazoo solo, claiming Coinbase is “facilitating unregistered trading.” Somewhere in the back, Gary is playing a sad trombone.

Coinbase’s Response: Meh+

Coinbase responded by rolling their eyes in blockchain. They noted — again — that there’s **no rulebook**, no clarity, and that their app is still easier to use than the SEC’s own website.

Meanwhile, In Titcoin Land…

While the SEC plays “Whack-a-DeFi,” Titcoin is thriving — protected not by legal frameworks but by **memetic holiness**, **community weirdness**, and the fact that it’s so dumb no regulator wants to admit it exists.

“Is it a security?” Who knows. But it’s definitely secure... in the bosom of decentralization.

Final Verdict

The SEC wants to be the dad who never gets the joke. Coinbase is the cool older cousin who made it out. And Titcoin? Titcoin is the barefoot cult dancing around the bonfire, completely unbothered and unapologetically free.

Let Gary cook. We’re too busy minting milk-based governance memes.