Former TITS Chairman Timmothy Massiv on Titcoin and the Battle for Boobchain Privacy

By Fanny McFuddpucker | April 18, 2025

At this year’s Memetic Governance Summit, former TITS Chairman Timmothy Massiv took the main stage (a bean bag) and addressed the tangled question of privacy in the era of decentralized boobonomics.

“Look,” he began, swirling a pumpkin spice latte in one hand and a Solana wallet in the other, “you can’t just flash your whole financial chest to the world. We need discretion. Elegance. Lace.”

Massiv, who once tried to regulate pogs in the '90s, warned that privacy is the double-D-edged sword of the Titcoin economy. “On one hand, we want every Titcoin transaction to be transparent. On the other, I don’t need my barista knowing I tip strippers in NFTs.”

When pressed for a regulatory solution, he smirked. “We need programmable privacy. Something that hides your degenerate DeFi moves, but still lets Janet Yellen sleep at night.”

Massiv went on to pitch “titlistic obfuscation layers” — a sort of financial pastie overlay for blockchain activity. “With the right tech, we can keep your titcoin stash tasteful. Revealing just enough to spark curiosity, but never so much that your mom finds out.”

His proposed bipartisan solution? “Mandatory obfuscation for wallets holding over 100K TITCOIN. Below that, you’re just a simp and no one cares.”

As the session ended, Massiv reminded the crowd, “This is the future. Private enough to be free. Transparent enough to meme. Sensible enough to keep the feds confused.”